http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rHP9W9FI-0
Ah, Michael Moore...I had really hoped when Obama got elected, his appetite would finally be sated and we could go a few years without hearing from him. But he's back, with a new film that strikes at the economic system that's been the engine of this country for roughly 230+ years.
Here's the quote that gets me...
“...an economic system that is unfair, it’s unjust and it’s not democratic. And now we’ve learned it doesn’t work.”
Well, gee, when the left seems to be gumming up the gears, taking hammers to the engines, and spending hard-earned tax money (earned by capitalism, I’d like to point out) like cokeheads in Colombia...yeah, it’s easy to see that the system currently isn’t working. If you left the system alone and fixed it by not doing anything, then you’d see it running along with a Ferrari again.
Capitalism didn’t fail. Greed won. Yes, bankers and corporate CEO’s fleeced their companies and walked off with a bunch of money. Because they got greedy. There is a difference between “I work hard for my money and I’m going to do all I can to keep it” and “I worked hard for money and now I’m going to illegally make a whole bunch more!” The people who bankrupted companies and broke laws probably don’t equate to 1% of 1% of the American workforce, but what they are...are targets, plain and simple.
It’s like having a squad of soldiers willingly invade Mexico on a land grab, get stopped, and wanting to disband the entire United States Armed Forces as a result.
People got greedy. That doesn’t mean the system didn’t break. I mean, the Communist rulers of the Soviet Union made a good chunk of change while their country starved too, but I don’t hear anyone on the left saying THAT system is broke.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Random Thoughts 7/29/2009
In light of President Obama inviting Officer Crowley and Professor Gates, I wish more disputes were settled over beer.
Seriously, imagine how the whole Arab/Palestinian/Israeli dispute could be worked out if everyone just got together and had a beer or two. After all, the earliest written evidence of beer was found in Egypt dating back to 9000 BC. The earlier chemical evidence of brewing can be found in the western of mountains of what is now known as Iran, once Persia, from around 3500 BC. Even today, Taybeh Beer is brewed in the West Bank, with a non-alcoholic line specifically for practicing Muslims. So there is a precedent of beer consumption among the Arab/Persian people. If the Arabs and Palestinians
They made it, and us Celts delivered it to the rest of the world.
First, the summit would have to be held on a Thursday night, so the Israelis have the Sabbath to fully recover. Second, the summit would have to be held on neutral ground. Switzerland’s out for the Israelis. Rio de Janerio would offend the heck out of the Arabs. Perth, Australia would be the best location, a beautiful city with access to hundreds of beers. You distract the United Nations by telling them “hey, the Western Sahara situation’s still unresolved, why don’t you guys go over there and do nothing?” Once the Arabs and Israelis have arrived, you set them down in a bar. You don’t shut the bar down, you just have very good bouncers to keep the idiots out and remove the jerks who get way too drunk. Music, pub fare, and girls. You put down the first round and tell both sides they have the evening to settle everything.
Now, at first, things are going to be awkward. For the Israelis, it’ll be like meeting the ex-boyfriend of your current girlfriend, the ex who still calls and sends texts at 3 am. For the Arabs, it’ll be like meeting the current boyfriend of your ex-girlfriend, the guy who stole her from you and was there when she lost 50 pounds and got a boob job. That’s what the first beer is for. It helps smooth things over a little bit, taking that edge off. Now, the guy across the table...he ain’t so bad. You still don’t really want anything to DO with him, but you can put up with him.
But more importantly, according to my good friend “Your Hero” Danny Daniels, you may run into this problem. You see it here in America more than anywhere else, since we have a monopoly on sub-par domestic brews. If one guy’s a Coors fan and one guy’s a Miller fan, it won’t end well. So, you need a baseline beer, a good solid brew that everyone can agree on and enjoy. Something that isn’t too heavy like a stout or too bitter like a pale ale. Now, if there’s ONE country in this world where everyone gets alone and life’s a little easy...that leaves us with Jamaica, and their well known brand of Red Stripe lager.
The second beer is where the edge goes away. You never met the guy, you’ve just heard bad things about them. But now that you’ve had a second brew, his jokes? Aren’t so bad. His job? It’s just like yours. Your girlfriend? Yeah, she can be a BIT of a bitch sometimes. The second beer, that’s where common ground is discovered. The initial feeling of awkwardness and discomfort is gone, and now, it’s just two friends drinking.
The third beer is where deals are made. By now, you’ve got a reproach with the guy across the table. Where the first Red Stripe removed the edge and the second forged links, the third beer makes that connection. You like the guy sitting across from you, he’s actually not a bad fellow. Yeah, he badmouthed you, but you badmouthed him too. And you have a lot in common! You both know your girlfriend has issues, but hey, you BOTH have issues too! You both think Def Leppard is the greatest band in history! You both know that killing each other until that final trumpet blows won’t accomplish a damn thing. And you both agree that the Austrians and the Ottoman Empire should have just sat down, had a couple of drinks, agree to stop stabbing each other in the back, and then kicked the living crap out of Venice. That’s a “Empire: Total War” joke that maybe 3 people here will get, but screw you, it’s staying in.
The fourth beer is your upper limit. Beyond that, you better have eaten some food or else it’s going to get messy. It’s the high end of the “deal making” spectrum. Hands are being shaken, shoulders are being clapped, and jokes are being laughed at. And here’s where you still have some control over your emotions, and more importantly, you recall the details of the evening. More importantly, the fourth beer Is where one has the best chance to find out those “moments of clarity.” We’ve all had them, those little experiences where you sit up and “holy crap, I need to make a change!” Or “Well spit, that’s what I was doing wrong.” Or “Huh, THAT’S the change I believe in.” In this case? “We’ve been blowing up our best and brightest for no reason!” “They have a point...they have to live and work here just like we do! And we really don’t need that extra closet space on the West Bank...”
And viola. From there, the seeds of an agreement can be reached.
Now, of course, we all know that we’ve had those moments of clarity, and then sometimes fail to follow up on them. We forget them, or pass them off as a crazy idea . Well, this is where your sober friend comes in. The logical designated driver, who has the unpleasant task of remembering everything you said or did the night before. In this case, though, he’s the one who makes sure to get everything in writing and on camera so, the next morning, you can play it back. And this way, you’ll get the Israelites, Palestinians, and Arabs doing that awkward head scratch and going “um...er...did we really say that? Huh. Well, we did it, that’s our signature, and if it’s on film...guess it counts!” In this case? The Koreans are perfect to be the sober ones. Hell, if everyone agrees to peace while drunk, within five minutes, the Koreans’ll have it on Youtube for the entire world to see.
Now, you stop at the fourth beer, and this is KEY. Because beyond that, you’re risking a fight. The fifth beer is where you leave the “moment of clarity” zone and enter the “kick someone’s ass” zone. You’re drunk by this point, you’re wobbling, and your reaction time is JUST a bit off. And by now, because you’ve knocked into things and maybe made an ass out of yourself by spilling your Red Stripe, you’ve gone from “happy go lucky” to “must prove I’m a man!” This is the danger zone, because all it would take is one word to send all three parties barreling into each other...
Actually, wait. Adding something new here. The Australians are the hosts, the Koreans are the keepers of the records...the Irish are the moderators. We’re in charge of keeping everyone on a nice even keel, and if anyone gets out of line, who better than an Irishman to stop the drunk from coming to blows? Seriously, you’re looking at a people who’ve spent years kicking the crap out of each other on our small little island, arguing over land, religion, taxes, football, we’ve argued over everything but beer. So if things get out of hand, us Irish are right there to keep things nice and calm. No Red Stripe for us, though. Bring forth the Guinness!
But that’s it. Beyond the fifth beer, you’re in dangerous territory. Because the sixth beer is the embarrassment beer. It’s the “everything is a good idea” beer. This is where you think you can drive home, or that the blonde over in the corner wants to hear about your level 80 Blood Elf Paladin with the Time-Lost Proto Drake. In this case, the Israelis might think picking a fight with Iran is a good idea...and the Arabs and Palestinians back them up. Or everyone decides to pile in a F-16 and go egg Putin’s house...
The last beer, being shoehorned in just because I have the idea and I’m throwing it out there. This is the “ideas that sound great now, but we’ll NEVER EVER do in a million years.” This is the “let’s all form a band” beer or “if we all moved in together, we’d save a fortune on our mortgage! This is the beer where Danny Daniels suggests the Arabs agree to buy New Mexico from the United States and the Israelis promise to move there and make a new Holy Land for the Chosen People...yeah, this idea get throws out about 15 minutes before last call, when everyone’s plastered, but the Israelis won’t show up the next morning with 50 million U-Hauls and the Wailing Wall disassembled for reconstruction in Santa Fe...
*****
Yeah, but let’s be honest. Here’s what’s gonna happen at the summit. Officer Crowley will finish his Blue Moon, and then Rahm Emanuel will come in. “Officer, that beer you just drank is poisoned. If you want the antidote, you will say exactly what we want you to say tomorrow morning, and then you can go crawl back into your cubicle in Cambridge and never speak of this again. ARE WE [BLEEP]ING CLEAR?!?”
Seriously, imagine how the whole Arab/Palestinian/Israeli dispute could be worked out if everyone just got together and had a beer or two. After all, the earliest written evidence of beer was found in Egypt dating back to 9000 BC. The earlier chemical evidence of brewing can be found in the western of mountains of what is now known as Iran, once Persia, from around 3500 BC. Even today, Taybeh Beer is brewed in the West Bank, with a non-alcoholic line specifically for practicing Muslims. So there is a precedent of beer consumption among the Arab/Persian people. If the Arabs and Palestinians
They made it, and us Celts delivered it to the rest of the world.
First, the summit would have to be held on a Thursday night, so the Israelis have the Sabbath to fully recover. Second, the summit would have to be held on neutral ground. Switzerland’s out for the Israelis. Rio de Janerio would offend the heck out of the Arabs. Perth, Australia would be the best location, a beautiful city with access to hundreds of beers. You distract the United Nations by telling them “hey, the Western Sahara situation’s still unresolved, why don’t you guys go over there and do nothing?” Once the Arabs and Israelis have arrived, you set them down in a bar. You don’t shut the bar down, you just have very good bouncers to keep the idiots out and remove the jerks who get way too drunk. Music, pub fare, and girls. You put down the first round and tell both sides they have the evening to settle everything.
Now, at first, things are going to be awkward. For the Israelis, it’ll be like meeting the ex-boyfriend of your current girlfriend, the ex who still calls and sends texts at 3 am. For the Arabs, it’ll be like meeting the current boyfriend of your ex-girlfriend, the guy who stole her from you and was there when she lost 50 pounds and got a boob job. That’s what the first beer is for. It helps smooth things over a little bit, taking that edge off. Now, the guy across the table...he ain’t so bad. You still don’t really want anything to DO with him, but you can put up with him.
But more importantly, according to my good friend “Your Hero” Danny Daniels, you may run into this problem. You see it here in America more than anywhere else, since we have a monopoly on sub-par domestic brews. If one guy’s a Coors fan and one guy’s a Miller fan, it won’t end well. So, you need a baseline beer, a good solid brew that everyone can agree on and enjoy. Something that isn’t too heavy like a stout or too bitter like a pale ale. Now, if there’s ONE country in this world where everyone gets alone and life’s a little easy...that leaves us with Jamaica, and their well known brand of Red Stripe lager.
The second beer is where the edge goes away. You never met the guy, you’ve just heard bad things about them. But now that you’ve had a second brew, his jokes? Aren’t so bad. His job? It’s just like yours. Your girlfriend? Yeah, she can be a BIT of a bitch sometimes. The second beer, that’s where common ground is discovered. The initial feeling of awkwardness and discomfort is gone, and now, it’s just two friends drinking.
The third beer is where deals are made. By now, you’ve got a reproach with the guy across the table. Where the first Red Stripe removed the edge and the second forged links, the third beer makes that connection. You like the guy sitting across from you, he’s actually not a bad fellow. Yeah, he badmouthed you, but you badmouthed him too. And you have a lot in common! You both know your girlfriend has issues, but hey, you BOTH have issues too! You both think Def Leppard is the greatest band in history! You both know that killing each other until that final trumpet blows won’t accomplish a damn thing. And you both agree that the Austrians and the Ottoman Empire should have just sat down, had a couple of drinks, agree to stop stabbing each other in the back, and then kicked the living crap out of Venice. That’s a “Empire: Total War” joke that maybe 3 people here will get, but screw you, it’s staying in.
The fourth beer is your upper limit. Beyond that, you better have eaten some food or else it’s going to get messy. It’s the high end of the “deal making” spectrum. Hands are being shaken, shoulders are being clapped, and jokes are being laughed at. And here’s where you still have some control over your emotions, and more importantly, you recall the details of the evening. More importantly, the fourth beer Is where one has the best chance to find out those “moments of clarity.” We’ve all had them, those little experiences where you sit up and “holy crap, I need to make a change!” Or “Well spit, that’s what I was doing wrong.” Or “Huh, THAT’S the change I believe in.” In this case? “We’ve been blowing up our best and brightest for no reason!” “They have a point...they have to live and work here just like we do! And we really don’t need that extra closet space on the West Bank...”
And viola. From there, the seeds of an agreement can be reached.
Now, of course, we all know that we’ve had those moments of clarity, and then sometimes fail to follow up on them. We forget them, or pass them off as a crazy idea . Well, this is where your sober friend comes in. The logical designated driver, who has the unpleasant task of remembering everything you said or did the night before. In this case, though, he’s the one who makes sure to get everything in writing and on camera so, the next morning, you can play it back. And this way, you’ll get the Israelites, Palestinians, and Arabs doing that awkward head scratch and going “um...er...did we really say that? Huh. Well, we did it, that’s our signature, and if it’s on film...guess it counts!” In this case? The Koreans are perfect to be the sober ones. Hell, if everyone agrees to peace while drunk, within five minutes, the Koreans’ll have it on Youtube for the entire world to see.
Now, you stop at the fourth beer, and this is KEY. Because beyond that, you’re risking a fight. The fifth beer is where you leave the “moment of clarity” zone and enter the “kick someone’s ass” zone. You’re drunk by this point, you’re wobbling, and your reaction time is JUST a bit off. And by now, because you’ve knocked into things and maybe made an ass out of yourself by spilling your Red Stripe, you’ve gone from “happy go lucky” to “must prove I’m a man!” This is the danger zone, because all it would take is one word to send all three parties barreling into each other...
Actually, wait. Adding something new here. The Australians are the hosts, the Koreans are the keepers of the records...the Irish are the moderators. We’re in charge of keeping everyone on a nice even keel, and if anyone gets out of line, who better than an Irishman to stop the drunk from coming to blows? Seriously, you’re looking at a people who’ve spent years kicking the crap out of each other on our small little island, arguing over land, religion, taxes, football, we’ve argued over everything but beer. So if things get out of hand, us Irish are right there to keep things nice and calm. No Red Stripe for us, though. Bring forth the Guinness!
But that’s it. Beyond the fifth beer, you’re in dangerous territory. Because the sixth beer is the embarrassment beer. It’s the “everything is a good idea” beer. This is where you think you can drive home, or that the blonde over in the corner wants to hear about your level 80 Blood Elf Paladin with the Time-Lost Proto Drake. In this case, the Israelis might think picking a fight with Iran is a good idea...and the Arabs and Palestinians back them up. Or everyone decides to pile in a F-16 and go egg Putin’s house...
The last beer, being shoehorned in just because I have the idea and I’m throwing it out there. This is the “ideas that sound great now, but we’ll NEVER EVER do in a million years.” This is the “let’s all form a band” beer or “if we all moved in together, we’d save a fortune on our mortgage! This is the beer where Danny Daniels suggests the Arabs agree to buy New Mexico from the United States and the Israelis promise to move there and make a new Holy Land for the Chosen People...yeah, this idea get throws out about 15 minutes before last call, when everyone’s plastered, but the Israelis won’t show up the next morning with 50 million U-Hauls and the Wailing Wall disassembled for reconstruction in Santa Fe...
*****
Yeah, but let’s be honest. Here’s what’s gonna happen at the summit. Officer Crowley will finish his Blue Moon, and then Rahm Emanuel will come in. “Officer, that beer you just drank is poisoned. If you want the antidote, you will say exactly what we want you to say tomorrow morning, and then you can go crawl back into your cubicle in Cambridge and never speak of this again. ARE WE [BLEEP]ING CLEAR?!?”
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
What NOT to do...
Taken from "Big Hollywood"
*****
The only thing worse than bad winners are sore losers, and we’ve had enough of them for the past eight years. So with that in mind, in the wake of today’s historic inauguration, here’s my Handbook For The Loyal Opposition, 2009 edition - a “To Don’t List,” if you will. Or even if you won’t.
DON’T question the motives - question the policy. When you disagree with Obama’s policies, say so, and make it clear why. But remember that President Obama is doing what he thinks is best for the country, as President Bush did. Both men love America and want what’s best for her. End of story.
DON’T make it personal. We don’t need another Derangement Syndrome. We don’t need people doing things like emphasizing Obama’s middle name in a derogatory fashion. How anyone would think that’s beneficial to their cause, or to the country as a whole, is beyond me. Also, it’s not even clever. Neither are smushwords like BusHitler, or sillywords like Rethuglicans and Dhimmicrats.
DON’T cozy up to and champion foreign dictators and despots. Sean Penn is an ass. No reason to be like him. ‘Nuff said. (Corollary: Don’t cozy up to and champion foreign dictators and despots and then act outraged when people question your patriotism.)
DON’T pretend you’re being brave when you criticize your government. Not while people in other countries actually, y’know, DIE, when they do that.
DON’T use the word “divisive.” At this point, all that word means is “You disagree with me,” and the English language gets mangled enough these days.
DON’T use the phrase “speaking truth to power.” EVER.
DON’T move to Canada.
DON’T say you’re going to move to Canada and then stay here. (I know it’s too late for Stephen Baldwin, but not for the rest of you.)
DON’T apologize to foreigners and say things to them like, “I didn’t vote for Obama,” or “He’s not MY president.”
DON’T say or do everything in your power to drive this country apart and then claim you want unity when it’s your guy in power. This is like the convicted felon who conveniently finds God when he’s up for parole.
DON’T call people un-American one week, and then talk about how “We are not blue states or red states, we are the United States” the next. (This rule may only apply to Tom Hanks, but I put it in just to be safe.)
DON’T automatically think people who disagree with you are stupid or evil. Some of them are, of course. But most of them aren’t, and you might actually learn something if you listen to them.
And finally, DON’T use the fact that many on the left behaved abominably for the past eight years as an excuse to behave the same way. America needs adults. And if it bothered you when they did it, it’s a good sign that you shouldn’t do it.
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